First Published September 26, 2016
At every crucial changing of direction of my life, it has been a question that provoked the shift.
“What is the cost to me of being in this relationship?”
“If I don’t fit here, where do I fit?”
“What if I don’t take this risk?”
“What if going bigger was easier than going smaller?”
After I allowed my deepest voice to answer the key question honestly, I would be left jaw-agape looking at a chasm that had opened up behind me – created by witnessing where I currently am vs. where I used to be. And then my mind would turn me around, and I would be wide-eyed at a new chasm before me – in between where I knew I needed to go, but currently had no way to get there.
The place where every movement feels impossible, and ANY movement is required – because staying still is no longer an option.
As a coach, I work with questions. Clients come to me with statements and observations, reflecting their perception of their reality. My job is to wield a flashlight and point it into corners or shine it from a different angle – and ask questions that invite exploration into new realms – within the same territory. When these new discoveries occur in seemingly barren or combed-over places of the mind, the most important question bubbles up within the clients themselves: What else is possible?
If there is more here than I have seen before, what else is there to discover?
If I missed this, what else might I be missing?
What am I pretending not to know?
Hope is the birthplace of action, of courage, of strength, and tenacity. Questions open the door to hope.
Curiosity is the evidence of movement, beginning afresh and from within.
Statements and feelings reflect where we are. They are true, and they do not need to remain true forever. Our feelings can change if our perspective or position in the situation changes. Our stories evolve as we move into new ones that we can choose to create for ourselves.
If you feel stuck at a crossroads, perhaps you could open the door to the questions that will usher in hope and all its friends be simply beginning with – “I wonder what’s around the corner?”
